How to Avoid a Massive Failure

So, how do you avoid the kind of failure in life that I experienced on Mt. Massive? (For background, see yesterday’s blog.) Here are some mistakes I made on Massive that you don’t want to make in more serious areas like relationships, career moves, financial management, and most importantly, pursuing God. Here are five ways to make good decisions and not fall off a ledge:

1. Know what you’re getting into. My son and I hadn’t done our homework on the mountain. We were unaware of the nuances of the trail and as a result, we ended up on the wrong side of the mountain. I see this one played out all the time in marriages. Women come into my office 5 to ten years into their marriages. They didn’t do their home work. They settled and married a man without a heart for God. And now, they want out. Before you start a climb, especially a relational climb, make sure you know what you’re getting into.

One Sick Puppy

2. Listen to wise counsel. Two days before I ever set foot on Massive my body was telling me not to go. I was getting sick and I knew it. But the desire to be with my son, the excitement over doing a winter ascent on a 14er, and the real chance of bad weather later in the week were all just enough to make push aside the warning signs I was seeing. Result? I was miserable. I ran the real chance of becoming a major liability to my son because I was so sick. As you dive into a new business venture, a new relationship or a new career, make sure you listen to the wise counsel around you, especially those little checks you get in your own gut. Don’t let your zeal for the new opportunity muffle the voices of wisdom.

3. Start small and be OK with it. Picking Massive for our first winter climb was probably a boneheaded decision. Massive is a tough climb in summer, and exponentially so in winter. We should have started on any number of mountains that weren’t as far away or nearly as challenging as Massive. Are you investing money for the first time? Start with small amounts. Are you dating again after a divorce? Go slow, very slow. Are you getting into public service? Why not start at the city or county level before you seek a statewide office. Remember, if you can’t run with the foot-soldiers you’ll never be able to keep up with horses (Yes, it’s in the Bible.)

4. Don’t carry a bunch of excess baggage. My pack was easily ten pounds too heavy. This was my first winter camping gig and I didn’t want me or my son to not have what we needed. I didn’t know what to expect, so I over-packed. Even though day one’s hike was relatively short, the weight of my pack, when mingled with my illness, zapped all of my strength on the climb up. When I got up the next morning, I wanted to go down the mountain, not up it. Some of us walk around for decades with the baggage of forgiveness. It turns us into relationally handicapped adults who can’t really love or be loved because we haven’t forgiven. And like an overbearing pack, the longer you carry the load of forgiveness, the heavier it gets. Put it down. You CAN do it.

5. Know when to quit. The best decision we made on the mountain was to turn around. We weren’t in trouble yet, but if we had kept going, we would have been. At some point reason (or was it pain?) prevailed. Some of you are in situations right now that are slowly killing you–the secret addiction, the affair, the bad relationship, the unethical job practices, the relentless travel and 80 hour work weeks. Stop. Stop right now. If you keep going, it could cost you everything.